Reflections....

I am sitting here on my first day of being 37, thinking about where my life is and comparing that to my dreams and expectations from 20 years ago. I can't believe that I can refer to "20 years ago." At 17 I was still in the midst of teen angst and boyfriends and insecurity and driving and trying to stand out. I did not know what my future held, nor did I really have any goals. I just knew that it was expected that I go to college. So I did. But at that age, no one really knows what they want to do for the rest of their lives and I ended up with a degree in theater. Once I graduated, that was pretty much the end of my theater career. I still did not know what to do with my life so I got a job in a Dr's office. From then on out,  I made smart career choices, which finally led me to the job I have now at a fantastic company. I could never have predicted that I would not work in theater but would instead be an administrative assistant/office manager. It is not the most challenging job in the world and I feel like I am overpaid, but the people I work with appreciate me and I do not dread each day.

20 years ago I did not know that I would pass through a marriage and come out the side relatively unscarred (I attribute that to my ability to dodge bullets), have one child and the most amazing birth experience possible, find my soul mate (something I always thought was a myth), buy a house (all by myself ) with acreage to realize my dream of a mini-farm and be utterly content.

I could have made different choices and ended up somewhere completely different. Or I could have made different choices and still ended up here. Life really is a choose your own adventure. As much as I fear nearing the end of my 30's which has been the best decade of my life, I see that the possibilities are endless. There are so many things that I still have time to do. Out of the last 20 years, I spent over a decade not living the life that I wanted to. I had adventures and experiences, yes, but they were not of my choosing. Now I can live MY life, with a partner who stands beside me and is so much my equal that I never doubt that he has the same wants/desires/goals that I do.

Instead of seeing my life as a glass half full, I am going to see it as a glass half empty and I plan to fill it to the brim!

~T